5:24 PM
Hey
So
Yeah
this is...
It's been a while
My life has changed a LOT
I know no one checks this blog, but it's interesting to have a record for in the future - kinda like my tumblr journal tag - when I could go through it and read what I was feeling.
So here's my life so far.
I left teaching. Did I mention that? I think I did. I honestly don't remember when I last posted and what happened since.
But I'll just try and fill in the blanks.
I left teaching, I got the Lap Band (but that was before the blog? Was it? Idek) I've lost 80ish lbs since I got it, so that's good...
I also am over halfway done my BA which is awesome.
My relationship with Yitzi has improved. A lot.
It's not like we're best friends, or anything... But we talk a bit. This all kinda happened after a MAJOR fight my mother and I had while staying over by his house for sukkos - she threw a fit because I got offended when she suggested I should throw myself at boys in order to get a shidduch
YES SHIDDUCH UPDATES OKAY
I went out with two boys... One was quite amazing, and it's a shame he wasn't ready, and the other was a NIGHTMARE.
Yeeesh, so many bad things went wrong.
ANYWAY
DEPRESSION AND THINGS UPDATE
Remember that post when I cut?
Well, I started doing that semi-regularly.
Besides for forcing myself to throw up.
Idk. Things got really bad.
I cut a lot, and it got to the point where I (actually still have, but I) started keeping razors in my room - along with rubing alcohol to make sure that it doesn't get infected.
HOWEVER
I should say that I am cut free for around 4 months now? Maybe 5? I don't know.
Though I had a really bad funk recently that made me realize that HEY I'm slightly suicidal.
Yups yups yups
I'm in talks to start medication, even though right now I'm not in a funk
Yeesh my life is so different than what it was a year ago (decemer 2012 was my last post, wasn't it?)
OKAY
MORE STUFF
LET'S TALK ABOUT SEXUALITY
Apparently I'm bisexual
and I am currently going out with Ruchi
OMG I'M GOING OUT WITH RUCHI
Is that crazy, or what???
*flails*
Okay continuing on
I like her
a lot
I care for her so much, and I don't want her to suffer any more
oysh
OTHER THINGS
I kissed a girl and I liked it (I HATE THAT SONG BTW BECAUSE IT DEMEANS GIRL ON GIRL)
But I haven't yet kissed Ruchi... I was going to today, but we didn't get together because she was too tired (yay depression sleep schedules!)
But yeah
more things about me
I RP
A lot
and recently I started with omegalock which OMG DON'T GOOGLE IT YOU'RE GOING TO GET SUCKED INTO A WORLD OF SMUT AND KINK AND OH GOD I'M ADDICTED TO IT
also Sterek is starting to be a thing
Watching Teen Wolf.
I'm a shipper, what can I say?
OTHER THINGS
I can't think of anything else to say, really...
Except for the issue with my heart... Which I don't know what it is, but apparently I have palpitations or a murmur or something, and my cardiologist wants me to meet with a specialist (electrophiseologist) and it's freaking me out just a tad
but I DON'T want my mother involved because she just
drives me nuts
I can't have her take care of my medical issues because I'm just going to become dependant on her again and I CAN'T HAVE THAT
continuing
I don't know
Life
I may update again soon if I remember anything
Life is good now, though. Because I'm happy. Because of Ruchi
I just don't want to hurt her
Sara Dina
539 PM
